The compulsive need to win

Haha I just have to write something about this because I was just discussing it with a client over MSN.
Ever since I can remember I've always had this incredible urge to have to "win" at everything. From the most petty thing to stuff that actually matters.
I can remember once when I was very little, having an argument with my friend over which crayon was the best, and it didn't matter what she said, because I was going to win this argument no matter what. And in the end I did, and blue is the best crayon.
To bigger things like school, I was the biggest shit at school and my teachers hated me, I would talk in class, smoke behind the school sheds, start arguments with people, get into fights and show up hours late. I was constantly on detention haha. But because of my compulsive need to win, I was very good at school, passed everything with top marks because in my mind, I needed to "beat" everyone. I remember one time I got into an argument with my science teacher because I was being my usual self and burning paper on the burner while he was talking, he snapped at me and told me I was never going to pass his class. And of course instantly my need to win kicked in, and I decided I'd win this by passing the exam we had the next day with 100%. And I did. And that means I had won. He never said anything to me ever again after that.

Now your probably wondering how this has anything to do with being an escort.
Now I never see other girls as competition, so I never feel the need to "beat" them or "win" because as I see it we are all in the same boat with the only difference being quality of service and quality of appearance, and its not something you can really "win" at because every client has different preferences. But I see some clients as people I need to "beat" and I see sex as something I can "win" at haha. Its probably very hard for people to grasp, but it makes complete and total sense to me.

I'll try and use some examples, and these are only examples, there are many other situations where I feel the need to "win"
A client I feel the need to beat:
I hardly ever turn a client away, and because of this I sometimes end up with some real classy fuckers. This one guy once booked me, I have no idea why, but he was in a complete and total bad mood right from the moment he walked in. So instantly I felt the need to "beat" him at his game. I started off completely ignoring the fact that he was in a bad mood even though he very much wanted to make it completely obvious. I just carried on like normal, had conversation, took my time with everything, asked him if he would like a beer, I got to the point where I was patronizingly nice and eventually he gave up on the whole "I'm an angry wanker" accepted the beer and we actually got along quite well after that. Very very well in fact that he tried to offer me a trip to India to visit his family hehe. But all I thought was "Haha I BEAT you"
Sex I feel the need to "win" at:
On quite a regular basis in this industry, you put up with some pretty crap sex and pretend your fully into it. On the odd occasion I get the guy who doesn't "like" the way I have sex.
Now I'm going to completely give it away and say, slow sex is for pussies, I like it fast and hard.
Naturally in a booking I take the dominant role and get the ball rolling, usually I ask them what position is their favorite and start with that, but if they have no preference I immediately jump on top and go for gold and only change when I get tired.
Now I had a client once, and the session was completely and totally the most fuckin ridiculous sex I have ever had in my life, very memorable, I'll never forget it, not because it was great sex, but because it was so painfully terrible that I actually had to remind myself every few minutes to let out some kind of pleasure noise.
The sex was so slow. So horribly fuckin slow, that I could not feel a thing. After 40 minutes of this slow torture I decided I would "win" the sex haha.
I pushed him off, lubed him up, jumped on top [ much to his protest ] and pretty much raped him for 2 minutes until he came, he wasn't happy with this, but I didn't care, because I won the sex. Haha.

Sounds completely and totally fucked up, but I cant help it :P